What do you want?
What do I really want out of life? I recently read a quote that went along the lines of, to achieve your goals and dreams, you must first know what you really want out of life. Fair enough I thought. Then it hit me, what do I want?!
I want to wake up each morning feeling like I've had a good nights sleep. I want to drink all the tea, copious amounts of it all day long. I want to help others, be there for my friends, make new friends, inspire and motivate those around me. I want to be able to show my love and care for those I hold dear. I want to cook and bake yumminess and share it with everyone I possibly can.
I want to be my own boss, mainly so that I don't feel like if I make a mistake it's letting anyone else down. I want to do it, to prove to myself that I can do it. Properly, and not just in a I Have Absolutely No Money For Food kind of way.
I want to go to the dentist, and sit in the waiting room without absolutely dreading how much it will cost. I want to go to the hairdressers once every couple of months without treating it as a huge luxury that makes me feel the tendrils of guilt, wrapping themselves around my core. I want to buy skin care products without the cloud of money spending condemnation lurking above me every morning as I apply them to my face. I want to buy new clothes, in season, not in sale, that fit and suit me and make me feel...good.
I want to get to the end of the first week of the month without my heart stopping for a beat as I check my banking app. I want to pay for an online cat food order for the month without thinking "The cat's food costs more than my own food for the month".
I want to live with my boyfriend, wake up next to him every day and drive him crazy all day long. I want to spend time with my family and make them laugh. I want to laugh...every single day. I want to cook wholesome, delicious, really bloody good for you food...not just for a new recipe for the blog. Not justbecause I can afford it this week....
I want to go to the cinema often...not just a handful of times a year, after having fallen out with my boyfriend over the sheer cost of going. Him insisting it's fine, me insisting I could buy a week's worth of food instead.
I want to create something amazing, something I look back on and think I did that. Something to hand down to my children should they want to take it on. I want that something to work so well, to be so successful that I can sponsor people who just want to create. Who want to do their own thing, but because the never ending bills...never end...well it's just not possible.
I want to be honest, I don't want to paint a rose tinted picture of my life. I'm no fool, I don't think that everything will be hunky-doory and wonderfully perfect once I have all of these things. But right now, I want a life full of love, full of people I adore, full of cat cuddles, tea and the odd slice of free from cake. Full of adventures, laughter and good books. Overflowing with inspiration, happiness, contagious joy. That's what I'd like...
What would you like?