It's crazy how quickly you become accustomed to things, situations, people... When I got home this evening after taking Fraser to the airport it struck me as such an odd thing not to be stepping over many pairs of men's trainers, shoes and flipflops sprawled in front of the door trying not to trip over. I didn't have to mind my step as I walked through the living room taking care not to clamber over an open suitcase and summer clothes littering the floor. (Why he feels the need to keep his suitcase in the living room is beyond me but that's how it's always been.)
I didn't have to tidy up the kitchen table moving bits and bobs aside to make space when I sat down.
I didn't smile when I walked in either. I didn't enjoy arriving home to a quiet flat without the happy face greeting me that I have become so used to for the past two weeks. In fact it was a little bit lonely.
It's funny how in just two short weeks what were once unusual things have become the norm. So normal in fact that I miss them. I miss the wet towels hanging over the dining room chairs and tangled cables all over the floor. I miss the silly jokes, the laughter and making meals, snacks and getting up from the sofa to grab drinks for two. I miss the constant noise, the chit chat and the banter. Most of all I miss him.
It's back to being just me and the cats. There was no one to make fun of me as I called them in this evening for their dinner. There's no one to moan to about how hot it is and why can't Spain be cooler please?! There's no one to not make a decision with about what film we're going to watch for the next hour because we're both a little indecisive at the best of times.
As I cleaned the flat, an activity that always gets me thinking, I wondered how long is normal ever normal? Our lives, much like our personalities, are constantly changing. Yet I'm someone who finds any kind of change slightly unnerving until I have a new plan of action.
For life to even happen, never mind improve and become whatever you want it to be, there must be change. I've adored the changes in my life over the past two weeks and in all honesty I hadn't even realised there would be any kind of change until a few weeks ago.
Change is a sneaky happening, it creeps up on you when you least expect it. Sometimes it occurs without you even catching on to it until it's rooted itself deep into your existence.
Today I've come to the conclusion that I quite like change, after all it's what life is all about.