Do you have a boyfriend yet? That's the question one of my students asks me on a weekly basis, with a hopeful expression plastered across her face.
"Nope, not yet sweetie..." I've even started adding sorry as if not living up to her relationship expectations is a real problem.
"I think you need to go to the disco more and shake your bum" she replies, hands on hips most likely thinking "my teacher hasn't got a clue."
I'm not quite at the point where I'm willing to take a nine year old's dating advice..yet.
I've been single a year. I've spent a year discovering what I like and dislike. I've become content in my own company, and whilst it didn't quite take a year, it did take a long time.
In a year I have gotten to actually know myself, kinda started to like myself and truly value the person I am becoming. I have changed immensely over the past year, grown up? Possibly. I think it's more of a self assured confidence. I now value myself enough to not let another person's thoughts and opinions alter who I am.
I am a ball of energy, constantly on the move, always thinking. I adore reading my horoscope, I love watching soppy romantic comedies. I always cry at Titanic and Forrest Gump. At times I am far too much to handle, I wrap myself around the person lying next to me whilst I sleep. Even friends.
I overshare, I overfeed friends and family, I am over caring, over loving and do everything in extremes. I sing the wrong words to the majority of songs I listen to. I rarely wear matching underwear, I always wear matching socks. I work well into the early hours of the morning multiple times a week and I'm up for the gym at 6:30 every week day. I'm loud, I stamp my feet when I laugh and go very quiet when I'm upset. I rarely argue, I find the most unfunny jokes the funniest. The little touches in life mean the most to me. I have four cats who aren't going anywhere, a flat full of memories and the need to change the furniture around every couple of months. I don't take compliments well, I usually change the subject.
I go on mad cleaning sprees where nothing will distract me from my mission to make this flat the sparkliest, cleanest flat in all the land. Christmas is my favourite. It always will be. I wake up very early on Christmas day and proceed to wake anyone who is with me up too by screaming "IIIIIIIIIITTTTTT'SSSSSS CHRIIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAS", even if it's only the cats.
I worry like crazy, I panic and have mini meltdowns about life and where I'm headed. I can't for the life of me keep still. I want to have a family more than anything. I literally inhale my meals. I follow a strict diet with no room for negotiation. I plan everything, I get very nervous when plans are changed until I have a new plan in place. I am a very emotional little person. I cry easily, be it out of tiredness, sadness, being overwhelmed, excited, happy or lost. I talk with my hands and mix Spanish and English words up.I can't deal with loud chewers and slurpers - it makes me want to punch the person in the face. Which is completely out of character for me, I just can't help it.
I am all of these things that could easily get on someone's nerves but they make me, me. I am other normal things too...I swear. (Tries to think of one normal thing about herself).
After almost a year and a half I am quite happy with my flaws, even the ones that I didn't dare include in this post. Becoming aware of my own flaws has made me accept and come to love the flaws of those around me.
We are all unique, and every tiny little thing about us makes us special. One of life's adventures is finding the person that is willing to accept all of those special little things about you. Am I willing to embark on that adventure yet? I'm not quite sure.