My weekly round up is here. I feel like this week has gone on forever. I'm racking my brain to think of something happy to say, something that will make you feel good and positive. Something that will make me feel good and positive. I want this blog to be a place for readers to visit and feel uplifted and happy. I don't want you to read a post and feel down or sad, however I'm fighting a little battle because I also want this to be a place to document my life, the good, the bad, the happy and the sad.
I am feeling a little down, I don't really do down and sad. This post is full of contradictions much like my inner monologue at the moment.
When you lose someone close to you, at first it's a surreal feeling. It's quite literally unbelievable, and then numbing, and then sadness hits and the numbing again and then sadness and in between all of that you'll find yourself smiling, or laughing at a story someone has told about that person, and you will instantly feel guilty for forgetting and enjoying that fleeting second of happiness.
It's silly because that person would want you to be happy, and laugh about the memories. But there's a hole, and I suppose grief catches you at unexpected moments. You can be fine one minute and crumbling the next.
I've drank more tea than you can possibly ever imagine over the past week, I've also been the clumsiest I have ever been and broken both my laptop and phone.
My friend sent me a quote which kind of summed everything up a little for me this week:
"Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mudane and routine. Beathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful." - LR Knost
So if you're reading this and you're having a tough time, hold on, soon it will be okay. I promise.
If you're reading this and life is amazing then live every tiny second to the full. <3
If you're reading this and life is ordinary, bask in the normal, appreciate that settled wonderful feeling of normality and be content with your beautiful life.