I have a confession...
It's really important to me that I'm always very honest on here, there are so many glossy magazinesque blogs out there which ,in my opinion are far to perfect and clinical for my liking. They publish content about a life many of us would never be able to achieve, most people rarely can because the majority of it is just an illusion. I myself am more about down to earth, honest, relatable content. So... my confession.
I failed at doing headspace every day for a year about a week ago and just didn't get back on it. I've also been very slack with yoga and general stretching too. I got whisked away into the joy of being on holiday and completely forgot one day, once I'd missed one day I very quickly fell into the routine of not bothering promising I'd get back into it as soon as my holiday was over. That was a week ago.
So this morning, feeling a little under the weather I decided enough was enough. I've put my all into the gym this week as well as on the blog and other projects I'm currently working on from home. This teamed with the ridiculous heat has left me feeling a little unwell and far from the bouncing ball of energy that I usually am.
I got up at 8:30 and padded bare foot into the kitchen, I fed the loud meows that seemed to follow me around, made a bowl of oats topped with all kinds of yumminess and headed back to bed to read. I managed to get completely lost in the book and didn't surface until 11:00 feeling much more refreshed and ready to crack on with the day.
I got my yoga mat out and did a lovely Yoga With Adriene video, it's so easy to forget the feeling of calm that washes over you after a yoga session as well as the feeling of being stretched out and ready for whatever comes your way. I then considered headspace. For some reason it seriously felt like a chore last time, I found that every time I got into a meditative state the voice (I'm talking about a guided meditation here in case you don't know what headspace is!) would pull me right back out and I couldn't get back to where I was no matter how hard I tried.
Sitting in a comfy chair I set an alarm to go off in 15 minutes time. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on my breathing, whenever a thought popped up, I acknowledged it and went back to concentrating on my deep breathing. I quickly found the fuzzy state of lovliness and stayed there for the whole time. After what I thought had been about 15 minutes I began to listen to my surroundings, taking note of the familiar clock ticking away, the birds siniging outside and the usual creaks of my flat and fluttered my eyes lashes open. As I did so the alarm went off. I felt so energised and content.
Headspace has worked for me for about two years, but for some reason right now it's just not a good fit. This can happen with anything from our exercise routine, to the diet we follow or the hobbies we so loved once upon a time. We are continuously changing and we must accept that what worked well for us once may not do so forever. All we can do is stay open minded and try out other possibilities.
I may not have managed to meditate every day for a year the first time I set myself the challenge but the wonderful thing about life is that we can hop back up, brush ourselves off and give it another go.
Here's to second chances.