"What am I doing wrong Mama?!" I asked my mum this morning over a cup of tea at hers. Since the hot weather arrived I've been struggling with my wardrobe, struggling with getting any item of clothing over my thighs and bum as well as across my back and shoulders if we're going to go into specifics here. "I eat ridiculously well, I never eat refined sugar or dairy. It's the nuts mum, I'm telling you now it's the peanuts, almonds and walnuts. I bet all of those energy balls I eat have got something to do with it too. They're the reason I've put on weight and gotten bigger." I told her with a scowl plastered across my face.
My mum gave me a long hard stare.
"It's the gym Peta. It's because you're muscles have grown and you're stronger than you've ever been."
I pouted a little and crossed my arms. "Well I don't want to be stronger than ever before if it means not fitting into my Summer clothes" I replied huffily.
"Stick thin and not being able to walk or strong and able to do whatever you want." You decide Peta.
My Mum has a way of bringing me right back down to earth with a big thump. It's so easy to forget the journey you've been on, to forget why you do what you do and the very real and important reasons behind your actions. Sometimes we need a little reminder.
Yes, right now I'm sat in tiny shorts and a huge t-shirt still rather dismayed at the fact that I have barely any Summer clothes that fit me, however I've been for a walk, done pilates and bounced around my flat cleaning all morning. Things that two years ago there is no way I could have done.
So am I going to go on a diet and make myself super duper tiny slim and chill on the weights at the gym opting only for cardio? Am I hell! I'm going to man the hell up, be proud of how far I've come and go shopping for clothes that fit.
Be proud of who you are.