I had a really tough day on Thursday, luckily blog posts up until yesterday were pre-written, I don't think I could have found an ounce of energy in me to put sentences together to form something, somewhat coherent, let alone remotely interesting. In all honesty I was having a pretty challenging week to begin with, as the term draws to an end work is manic with reports to be written, exams to be marked and end of year shows to direct. There isn't a moment to breathe.
The family cat, who was my sister's cat was diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago. One of the kindest, most loving cats you could ever meet. She seemed to be pretty perky in herself so my sister went ahead with her trip back to England for four days. Unfortunately Bobby took a turn for the worse and the vet told us there was nothing more they could do for her. She was put to sleep in the most calming, tranquil way possible and for that I am so very grateful.
If you don't have pets, I'm sure you'll think I'm over reacting when I say the sadness and grief that hits you when you lose a pet is incredibly similar to that you feel when you lose a family member. After the vet visit I went straight back to work for the afternoon and it was one of those afternoons you wish would just end. When you feel like you could burst into tears at any given moment.
It was cold and drizzling when I finally finished work. A few tears escaped as I drove home, the lights of cars blurring slightly. I parked the car and let myself in. There, stood in front of the door was my most favourite person. Ready to give me as many cuddles as I needed, having cleaned the flat until it sparkled with a big bowl of homemade plant based spaghetti bolognese steaming on the side. He'd videoed his day for me, and made it into a vlogmas video knowing that I wouldn't have anything filmed.
I can't explain what that meant to me, nor can I put into words what it feels like to have someone who is always there for you no matter what. The next day Fray went out of his way to make me laugh until my tummy hurt.
Life can be really very difficult, and there will be times when you feel so overwhelmed that you just can't. As long as you have a special person or people around you who make everything better, that's all you need. Just someone who, with there presence alone, makes everything better.