What if I'm not enough?
Self doubt...that nagging little voice that lends a helping hand in not achieving the goals and challenges we set ourselves. You'll be 26 come June, and you'll be jobless after deciding not to renew your contract at work. Not you (whomever is reading this), I'm talking to myself... on my own blog... LIES! In a notebook because I find my thoughts flow better when putting pen to paper although I do seem to go off on a tangent.
I'm writing this to myself rather than about myself because, well, because I'm strange. A little nuts, a whole lot of special mixed with a touch of doolally.
Everyone thinks your this very confident young woman who goes after all that she wants. I guess they can't hear that niggling voice in your head - which is a good thing, they'd think you schizophrenic if they could. (You seem to be comparing yourself to a schizophrenic person a lot lately...should you be worried? Maybe. Just sayin.)
Anyway, my point is you doubt yourself so much. For example, you have wanted to study something along the lines of nutrition and well being for so long yet you always end up listening to that voice - "You can't, you're not smart enough for uni." Well guess what? I'm calling bullshit on it, uhuh, yep, BULLSHIT.
If you were smart enough to work as a travel agent, a support worker for people with autism and disabilities, to work a full time job whilst studying to become a foreign language English teacher, to hold down said full time job whilst taking on a part time job as an English teacher, to set up and run your own shop and online magazine whilst seriously ill, to do courses in teaching, on nutrition, on yoga, on writing HTML code for website building... I think you're smart enough to study nutrition. Don't you?! HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!
We all doubt ourselves at some point or another, it's human nature. It's our instinct kicking in saying hold up, are you sure? What I believe we need to develop is more self assurance and less comparison to those around us. I believe we should care less about what others think and more about how we think. We doubt ourselves when it comes to our careers, what we eat, the exercise we do, our relationships, friendships, the car we drive the way we walk, the way we dance, the mind numbing tasks we do on a daily basis and the music we listen to. Sometimes we doubt ourselves so much that we forget to live, to treat the moment we open our eyes as a brand new day full of possibilities to fulfill our true potential. So how about we pop self doubt in a box and we start believing in ourselves and those around us.